TBA Pt. 9: Postmortem- To Bigger Adventures

Results

I’m just as beyond results as much as I was last year. I got my big Best Music win two years ago, and truth be told I really don’t think I’ll ever win Best Overall especially with my intents to scale back in future Harold Jams. I’ve learned a lot and that’s what matters most. Regardless, results exist, and before the postmortem we'll be taking a look at how I did. Was H&TCoT a charm or a curse?

Overall

1/26
4.056/5.000

OK so anyway I won Harold Jam 2024. No subcategories. No wheel spins. No “well I won Best Music so…” I am the Harold Jam 2024 champion.  

You see what I wrote up there in Results? That was written a few hours before voting ended. The way I SCREAMED when I saw my big Flipnote doodle first thing in the Results page. I’m writing this the morning after results came out and it’s still not real. I was expecting top 5 if that. I at least think I created a game that does well in every category, and I really made sure to zero in on a solid aesthetic. So yeah, I guess it was really good overall.

What I think makes this win the sweetest is that my first proper Harold Jam win comes from the game which I made for the sake of just making it. I wasn’t trying to sell my passion project like last year or flexing as hard as possible like the year before. Everything from the characters and gameplay to the aesthetics and music I genuinely wanted to create and experience in person. It’s that ages-old adage where your best work comes from the soul, and while I wouldn’t say this was my best work I had a blast making this game. It doesn’t have to be a brain-shredding grind to be successful.

I do want to give a big, big shoutout to Nate, who was watching the development of H&TCoT very closely. He deserves all my thanks for his expertise and suggestions. Above that though, his entry Harold Voidskipper actually beat me in raw score by 0.003 points but was rounded down due to the way average votes are factored in. It’s just as deserving of the Overall win and I really think y’all should play it. Nate’s an amazing dev and he deserves the love!

Gameplay

6/26
3.444/5.000

Not surprised that Gameplay is my lowest score, but kinda shocked I made 6^th place! I’m surprised but blessed that you all at least understood and loved the concept of the gameplay despite its bugs. I'm happy with the core concept of this battle system and I really do think it’s worth fleshing out and streamlining. Viewing H&TCoT a prototype has made a lot of the bugs that made it in far less frustrating.

Music

1/26
4.556/5.000

The three-time, three-time, THREE-TIME Harold Jam Best Music winner strikes back! Despite the bet I put up, I was not trying any harder or any less than usual. I just wanted to write the music that either I wanted to write or the situation called for. I ended up writing a few tunes I had wanted to get out of my head for months and have become some of my favorite songs I’ve ever written. I’m obviously very happy the soundtrack rubbed off on you all so well, and I think using Furnace and saving music for last was well worth the risk.

Don't forget to check out the soundtrack on itch.io and SoundCloud!

Graphics

2/26
4.444/5.000

My first attempt at pixel art ever and I get second. With a 4.5 star average, nonetheless! To score this well off 8-bit graphics I did alone with no prior experience is frankly mind-boggling. I barely did any pixel art and had no Aseprite experience before I started graphics in March! This hits way harder than a third 1st in Music, as this was a big hole in my skillset a year ago and I'm slowly starting to patch it up. Again, if you’re reading this and want to learn pixel art, I implore you to start with the Game Boy and just copy your favorite 8-bit games. With so little pixels to fill and colors to use, you start to catch on quick.

Story

5/26
3.444/5.000

Like gameplay, I think story was a weak point of this game. It was meant to be goofy and light-hearted from the beginning, and having to write most of the dialogue in a week with barely any testing did not help. I’m pretty shocked I placed this high, but this Harold Jam was a little light on story and I think the 3.5 star average is justified. Next year, I really want to try and make something far more story-focused.

Comedy

6/26
3.500/5.000

Even if this is tied for my lowest placement, I’m pretty surprised about this one. Harold Jam is not a serious jam, and you get a lot of intentionally low-effort or flat-out hilarious entries. There were some that nearly got my sole five-star rating that I ended up beating out! Again, this one makes me warm and fuzzy because it was all stream-of-consciousness jokes that I put in there because I thought they were really funny. Obviously I’ve never tried to sell myself out and tickle others’ funnybones, but this has my style more than any other Harold Jam entry I’ve done save Stuck in the Past. Very proud of this one.

Postmortem

This jam was an experience. Soaring highs, stressful lows, and a whole lot to learn in the process. Good time for a proper postmortem!

What Went Right:

This was one of the more fruitful Harold Jams in terms of things going well. Winning was one of them, but also...

Learning pixel art.

Pixel art was always the one thing stopping me from being able to make a completely independent game without relying on any existing assets. I’m shocked at how quickly I was able to get accustomed to pixel art, even if in a very simple style. #2 Graphics is just icing on the cake for me; the biggest prize of all is feeling like I finally have what it takes to make a completely independent game.

Learning the inner workings of RPG Maker MV.

Remember, I almost went with GBStudio for this jam! Outside of the core concept for the game being based on a RPG Maker prototype, I’ve pretty much settled on MV for KCoL. The extra RM experience, especially how in-depth I went with scripting and under-the-hood tweaks, will be invaluable for game I make in MV from here on out.

Staying fresh with Furnace.

If there was any jam I should have broken out Furnace Tracker for, it was definitely this one. I freshened myself up and learned a lot more about making the most out of the Game Boy sound chip. I’m unbelievably excited and honored to be the current sole composer for Buffet Knight and I can’t wait to keep plugging along!

HAVING FUN!

FINALLY! I HAD FUN IN A HAROLD JAM! Only took me three years! I’m glad I could loosen up enough to just have fun with it while still delivering big concepts and aesthetics. Again, something that has to transfer to KCoL. It needs to have my soul first and foremost. This is how I fight the AI menace and its bland, generative slop.

Achieving last year’s goals.

I revisited Beyond the Liminal to see what I wanted to work on, and as it turns out I delivered on every goal I had last year! I tried something a little less serious and more improvised, which led to me loosening up and enjoying the process far more. I managed to channel my focus when needed, and when I jumped from task to task it at least didn’t slow things down. For example, when I planned for both a MVP demo and a beta, I was able to finish and release them on schedule. I stayed proactive and on my feet, leading to me straight-up nuking parts of the game if I wasn’t 100% on them. Even if it did turn into another deadline rush, I really do think I’ve streamlined my process. Even outside of placement, I’ve still won.

What Went Wrong:

H&TCoT is not a perfect game, and the process wasn’t perfect either. I didn’t make a ton of mistakes, but the ones I did almost cost me dearly.

Beefing pre-planning.

I planned to have pretty much every asset done by the time the dev period started, and I’ll even go as far as to say this game’s foundation relied on many assets being made in advance. Obviously I would have had a lot to create or remake during the jam period due to the sudden island setting and the new characters and plot elements. Just sucks dropping the ball on something I promised myself to do for months and nearly paying for it with my entire game. This isn’t the worst, as I think the time I spent on other commitments instead of pre-planning was spent very well. Just something to work on next time.

Underestimating scope again.

Unfortunately, as a result of the former I was once again barely able to handle my game’s scope. Almost nothing about game jams frustrates me more than making the same mistake twice in a row. Pretty much every Harold Jam I’ve entered my game ends up being more than I can chew or spirals out of control. The silver lining is I’ve really mulled over how I can prevent this from happening with any future jams I enter. I just hope I can deliver on that.

Being vague.

Between the Saturation prototype that started it all and this game, I’ve realized can’t make game mechanics clear to save my life. Everything is vague, complex, and hard to understand. I as the dev will always understand my games more than anyone else, hence why having others to test it is so important. I can’t fully blame others though; you’ve read enough of this blabfest to know I cannot edit myself. I have to keep things simple and understandable from now on, no excuses.

Where To Go

Today feels like the end of one era and the beginning of another. I really have done all I can in a Harold Jam, from learning RPG Maker to winning Best Music to prototyping my dream game and finally winning the whole shebang with a game I had so much fun making. I would still love to enter future Harold Jams, but I want to scale back significantly and treat them as a fun cooldown while putting more effort into my long-term projects.

Underscope and then underscope.

I thought my idea was simple this jam, but it ended up being far more complex than I imagined. I took a huge risk committing to a battle system I had barely prototyped and doing a fully original set of graphics on top of it, which led to the single most insane deadline rush of my entire life. The reality of the situation is every year I’m finding less and less free time, and these big ambitious jam games may not cut it anymore.

I underscoped this year. Next time I gotta underscope and then underscope that. Obviously I don’t want to make a mediocre entry with bad gameplay, but something that’s easy to create while still being enjoyable is the goal. Something that focuses more on story than gameplay may be the ticket. What I may even do is create a few more Game Boy-style tiles and characters and reuse this year’s assets for next time!

Forgo Furnace.

I said that Furnace was a worthy investment for this jam, but either it’s gotta be fully in advance or no more. If I want Harold Jam to be a chill, fun experience from now on, I’m thinking I gotta take the Sawyer pill and go full Game Boy/NES-style JummBox like I did in Stuck in the Past. Crapping out five songs in one day in JummBox compared to Furnace Tracker is night and day. With that said, there will never be a Harold Jam where I do not write an original soundtrack. I have so much fun rearranging Theme6 on top of everything else!

Prototype or go simple.

If I’m gonna do another wackjob gameplay mechanic like this game, it’s gotta be done well in advance and I need 100% proof it works. This way I can just slip it into next year’s game and ensure it won’t softlock or bug out. If I don’t have something done well in advance, then I gotta go simple and do either a straightforward RPG or a walking simulator. Would be nice to layer something on top of that, but not to the point where it costs me.

Team up!

Another way I’ve contemplated reducing scope is joining forces with another dev. I’d probably end up as a composer, but I would still love to help with everything else. Having a second pair of eyes is a great way to ensure a quality game.

Bring back Fred!

Because why not, right? Assuming the situation allows for it, I’d absolutely love to keep Fred around as a recurring rival for Harold. I feel like there’s so much more I didn’t explore with him, and who’s not to say I can’t take a new approach on him? All I know is he won’t stop being Harold’s grumpy emo rival. Hell, who’s to say he can’t be a main character against a blissfully unaware Harold as the villain?

Stay sharp!

I have a bad habit of doing virtually no game dev between Harold Jams. As a result, not only am I almost always rusty but I’m not putting any effort into KCoL or any of my other full-length game ideas. As I type, my motivation to just get in there and work on bigger and better games is higher than ever before. This jam was very much worth it, but only if I take what I learned and apply it to KCoL and any other projects I pursue. Excuse me for a bit.

Don’t stop having fun!

It took me four Harold Jams to just chill out and genuinely enjoy the process. This can’t be a one-time thing, and it has to extend to any games I make from here on out. If I have fun making the game, it’ll naturally translate through the game itself. Creative joy is infectious!

Conclusion

I almost didn’t enter Harold Jam 2024. A month and a half ago, I was barely prepared and in my head about what worth Harold Jam even held to me as a whole. I just got back from watching my own Toontown Rewritten update launch live! What could I possibly get out of Harold Jam that wouldn't drive me to the brink of death? However, I was sitting on so many ideas that could come together to form a full game, and more than anything I just wanted to see them realized. I cannot be proud enough that I committed to it over everything else. This wasn't just an unhealthy experience with an important lesson because I'm dumb as hell and can't learn anything; this was a game I genuinely woke up for. I finally remembered what it was like to have fun making games and putting ideas into motion. Even if it was a crazy rush near the end and made it into the jam a buggy mess, to finally be able to chill out on an entry for once and win off that is beyond what words can describe. Even then, though, this jam will only truly be worth it if I can take what I learned and extend it to my other projects instead of just not devving until the next Harold Jam like I always do. 

This really does feel like the end of an era for me. I'm not quitting Harold Jam and I'm absolutely not letting this victory be my peak, but I do think it's time I turn Harold Jam into something I can chill out on and put all my tryhard energy into more substantial games. I want to thank Violet Spinel for hosting this year's Harold Jam and getting me into both Harold Jam and game development in general in the first place. Wouldn't be out here with dreams and aspirations without you. And of course big props to every single person who helped Harold & The Curse of Teebeyae become a reality. Even if it's mostly my game, I could not have done it without y'all.

But before we wrap up Teebeyae’s Backstage Adventures, there’s one more question we need to answer…

Where’s The Money Going?

I’ve raked in a lot more shmoney than I expected this jam. On top of the $50 cash prize, I’m holding fast to my $25 from the soundtrack bet. My brother got a nice $5 bill for his contributions to the normal battle theme, but that still leaves us with $70. I was going to keep it for myself, but then I wondered what could anyone else do with the money that would make me happiest. This leads me to something I hate bragging about, as I always value the act of charity itself over the Internet Brownie Points I’ll get for it. More than anything else, I want to bring light to the issues revolving around the recipient of my grand prize.

I came out as nonbinary three and a half months ago. It followed over a year of sudden gender dysphoria, surrounded by constant questioning, denial, and self-doubt. My brain started telling myself I was constantly boymoding, that I looked like a Wooly Willy, that I was hiding core parts of my personality to look conventionally better. I could barely explain my gender identity even to myself; I felt like every gender and no gender at the same time. Obviously I was aware of the concept of being nonbinary or genderqueer and had (and still have) many friends that were, but I danced around a few identities in my head before settling. It’s still a little weird up in that head of mine, but I feel like I can finally be at peace with myself. Even when I look in the mirror, the first thing my brain tells me is that I’m not male. The act of being nonbinary to me is exactly the same as eating when I’m hungry or drinking when I’m thirsty. This is a natural response to what my brain is telling me. Any pronouns and gendered terms btw, I’m not picky.

Being nonbinary actually kinda sucks. We live in the age of Elon Musk’s X.com, the Everything Site where Free Speech is legal and Free Speech means deliberate bigotry and discrimination. We live in an age where Project 2025 could make my existence as a human being pretty much illegal in a few years. Millions of people are convinced that my nonbinary family and I are attention whores, that we’re narcissists looking to fill holes in our personalities, that we’re just making stuff up, that we can never truly be ourselves because Science™ says so, that we don’t even exist. It’s extremely hard to understand how it feels to be nonbinary or have gender dysphoria when it’s never happened to you. I sided with the LGBTQ community long before this happened to me, and even though I could kind of empathize with them I didn’t have that tangible experience until last year. I get it now.

With all that said, I’ve had it very easy. I’ve had unbelievably accepting friends and hopefully just as accepting of a family. My gender identity, while obviously not male, is at least subtle enough that I can boymode if need be. (Don’t get me wrong, I hate doing that more and more every day.) So many nonbinary, transgender, and LGBTQ people around me suffer on the daily, far greater than I ever have and likely ever will. So many are damned to live in states and countries that cannot envision human rights for everyone. So many are surrounded by people who can never see their friend, sibling, or even child the same just for being themselves. I can’t rest easy knowing how many are treated like this simply for existing, out or not. It’s just not fair, and I don’t use that term lightly.

I won Harold Jam on Nonbinary People's Day. There is no better way for me to spend my winnings than to donate them to the Rainbow Railroad. The Rainbow Railroad is a global non-profit charity that helps LGBTQ people around the world find stability, relocation, and financial assistance. Again, I say this publicly not so y’all can ooh and ahh at my selfless philanthropy. I want to bring to light the struggles the LGBTQ community faces simply for existing, between coming to terms with themselves and facing harsh treatment from others. Life is far too short to live for anyone but yourself. You’re not gonna be alive when they dig up your bones, but you have a beautiful opportunity right now to find and embrace yourself. A happy queer is an act of resistance. You are the one constant in your own life. Cherish that. Be you.

Thank you all for following my godawful yapping to the end. I’m forever grateful. See y’all in the next one, and hopefully I’ll have something tangible to show for my other games by then. DJ out.